Journey to Trust - Day 6

"Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul."
Psalm 143:8

Blessings,
Linda

Journey to Trust - Day 5

"It is a glorious thing to know that your Father God makes no mistakes in directing or permitting that which crosses the path of your life. It is the glory of God to conceal a matter. It is our glory to trust Him, no matter what."
Joni Eareckson Tada - "Joni and Friends"

Blessings,
Linda

Journey to Trust/ Five Minute Friday (Day 4)

I've been doing a bit of reading - my own words, Emily's book, and Lisa-Jo's Five Minute Friday. Each has significance for me. They speak of art and story and words.

Lisa-Jo's word for today is "Write."

start:

I write in different seasons and times - yet the words keep circling back on themselves. There is a repetition, a recurring theme - and I wonder that others don't get tired of it.

It isn't intentional. It comes from somewhere deep inside and works its way to the surface over and over again. It is this matter of trust.

I wonder why and realize it is, in part, my story. We write our story in so many ways. It spills out of the depths of who we are as we walk through the minutes and hours of our days. It forms us and touches the lives most precious to us - and the ones we hardly know.

The Father is crafting trust onto the pages of my story. It is life-changing and so it weaves its way in and through my words over and over again. It has meaning and purpose.  It begins to shape the very soul of me.
It has not come easily. There has been a dying to other things so that this one true thing might live in a heart that is desperate for Him.

And so I write of trust.

stop

 

Blessings,
Linda

Journey to Trust: Day 3

Trust - "firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something"

If anyone had asked me if I trusted God, I would have answered "Yes," with absolute conviction. I loved Him and the desire of my heart was to know Him more.I believed that I trusted Him. However, I didn't live as though I did.

When confronted with life's inevitable disasters, I turned confused eyes heaven-ward and asked, "Why? I've tried my best to do everything right. Don't I deserve to be happy Lord?" Somehow, according to my own system of checks and balances, I thought I had earned a little joy. The down-side of my little system was that every time I failed I waited for the the "righteous hammer" to fall.

I read those words and feel a sadness for the girl who wanted so much to please the God who already loved her unconditionally. The girl who struggled mightily to control everything and everyone around her - to keep life manageable and free from pain.

She had yet to learn to open her hands to the One she loved - to receive from His hands both joy and sorrow with the absolute assurance that all would be well.

Blessings,
Linda

Day 2 Journey to Trust

I grew up on Sunday School, sword drills, pot luck suppers, Christian Girls in Training and hymn sings. The old songs are permanently etched on my heart - the words a treasure trove of wisdom. I have memories of riding in the backseat on the way home from my Grandparents' small apartment singing a duet with my Dad - all our favorite hymns one after another - my little voice mingling with his baritone.

One of my favorites was "Trust and Obey"

"When we walk with the Lord
  in the light of his word,
 what a glory He sheds on our way.
 While we do His good will,
 He abides with us still,
 and with all who will trust and obey.

 Trust and obey, for there's no other way
 to be happy in Jesus
 but to trust and obey."
 lyrics: John S. Tammis

I also grew up wanting, more than anything else, to be a good girl. I longed for approval - most especially God's. So I readily embraced the "obey" part.  I tried my best to be everything I thought I should be - carefully concealing the bad girl who occasionally reared her ugly head. Whenever she showed up I felt trapped - too ashamed to pray, too terrified not to confess. Desperately wanting to keep the slate clean, I worked very hard at keeping things under control.

Somehow I thought if I could manage it all, then God would be happy with me and life would be sweet. I carried this "doctrine" well into my adult life. (In truth, I struggle with it still. ) Trust became something I gave lip service to but in reality it had no part in my life. The Lord brought this to my attention in a very dramatic way a dozen or so years ago.

We'll talk more tomorrow.

Blessings,
Linda

31 Days: Journey to Trust (Day 1)

We are home from a long anticipated vacation. It was all we had prayed for -  days filled with sunshine and blue skies and time with much loved family we don't see nearly often enough. Together we explored the incredibly beautiful Outer-banks, stepped back into history on battlefields in Virginia and the cobble-stoned streets of Williamsburg, and walked trails with the "big red dog." It was wonderful.

I find it is always a little bit of a jolt to step from days of relative irresponsibility back into my "real" life. There's the laundry, the pending doctor visits and the inevitable stack of mail -to name a few.

All that to say I thought I would give The Nester's 31 Days a pass this year. With so many calendar squares filled and all the catching up to do, I couldn't imagine finding the time to write for 31 days straight.  However, there was this gentle nudging - the kind I find hard to ignore. A sort of a whisper into the heart of me.

So I come with my little, trusting Him to use it as He will. For that is the journey I've been on for as long as I've drawn breath - this journey to trust. Perhaps you would like to walk along with me. It's always so much nicer to have company.  I will share from my heart - just little bits I've learned (I have only begun to plumb the depths) - and would love to learn from you.We'll start tomorrow evening (one of those doctor appointment days tomorrow).

Blessings,
Linda

You can find the rest of the Journey here:

Day 2 -  Journey to Trust
Day 3 -  Journey to Trust
Day 4 -  Journey to Trust
Day 5 -  Journey to Trust 
Day 6 -  Journey to Trust 
Day 7 -  Journey to Trust (Control) 
Day 8 -  Journey to Trust - Suffering 
Day 9 -  Journey to Trust 
Day 10 - Journey to Trust - Despair 
Day 11 - Journey to Trust - Praise 
Day 12 - Journey to Trust
Day 13 - Journey to Trust - Choose to Praise 
Day 14 - Journey to Trust - The Sacrifice of Praise 
Day 15 - Journey to Trust - Peace 
Day 16 - Journey to Trust - Surrender 
Day 17 - Journey to Trust - Prayer Changes Things
Day 18 - Journey to Trust - Molding
Day 19 - Journey to Trust - "Have Thine Own Way Lord" 
Days 20 & 21 - Journey to Trust
Day 22 - Journey to Trust - Why Trust?
Day 23 -Journey to Trust
Day 24 -Journey to Trust - Waiting 
Day 26 -Journey to Trust- Trust in the Ordinary 
Day 27 -Journey to Trust
Day 28 -Journey to Trust
Day 29- Journey to Trust - Unchanging
Day 30- Journey to Trust - The Crooked Oak

A Sabbath Rest and a Little "Undiet" Update

Although the sun still beats down heavy and the a/c runs almost continuously, I feel the changing of the seasons. I have been looking forward to the turning of the page. The last chapter, the one entitled "Summer", was written in sorrow and deep gratitude, a part of our story that has drawn us closer to each other and to Him. He wrote the words long ago, knowing what we could not know. Before, I would have begged for a different story. Now I see, not answers to the heartbreaking questions, but the truth of who He is.

As the summer slowly takes her leave and the earth prepares for her long sleep, we too are looking forward to a season of rest. A long planned-for time to slow the days, spend time with family and quiet our souls. This month will be our Sabbath.

I will visit from time to time, but for the most part this quiet place will be quieter still. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement, for your prayers, and for loving so well. You are a gift I never imagined before I timidly stepped into the blogging world.

                                      

Here is a little update on my "undiet." It has been relatively painless. Really. When I sit down to eat, I feel His gentle presence. He is a guest at every meal because once invited how can I turn Him away? Without denying myself or counting calories or changing the way I eat (except for the quantity and frequency), I have lost a few pounds. I like this. I think it will be something I can do for the long term, because He has promised to never leave me or forsake me. And if I fall? He has promised grace.How about you? How is it going?


Blessings to you dear friends,
Linda