As For Me

As For Me

I see them sleeping
when You needed their prayers.
Would my head nod too
had I been there?

I see them running
when they took You away.
Would my heart be racing, legs pumping
abandoning You too?

I hear him denying, with curses,
when he pledged to stand with You.
Would I say I didn't know You
when the darkness threatened?

How often, Lord Jesus,
do I sleep when I should pray,
run when I should stand,
hurt You with my words?

Now, as then,
You search my heart with eyes of love,
Speak words of forgiveness,
Give Your life that I may live.

This week I am thinking about the young men who followed the Savior for three years and seemed to fail Him so utterly just when He needed them most. And I wonder, what would I have done had I been there.

(My contribution to Ann's blog today.)

Blessings,
Linda

Multitude Monday

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride."
Psalm 46: 1-3

We may not experience anything as dramatic as these verses describe in the course of our lives, but there are times when it feels as though the earth has shifted beneath our feet.

Eleven days ago, when my Mom stepped into the bathroom to take a shower, she had no inkling that things were about to change dramatically within the course of a few minutes. The simple act of putting on her slacks, a loss of balance and she found herself on the floor in more pain than she had every experienced in her lifetime.

She fell against the bathroom door, and my Dad could not get the door open to get to her. He slowly inched the door open as she screamed in pain. When he got to her, he was unable to lift her. He is far too weak himself from all the health issues he has had in the past year. They were in desperate trouble, and in the midst of it came the sound of the doorbell.

My Dad quickly went to open the door and there stood a big strapping six-footer of an exterminator man - there to do the quarterly spraying. He was able to help Dad and Mom and stayed with them until the ambulance arrived.

Some would say, "How lucky that he should arrive at just that moment."

We have said, "How good the Father was to send help before we could even ask."

We have had much to be thankful for over the course of these days, dedicated, compassionate nurses,a skilled surgeon, friends who have prayed and offered words of encouragement, made visits and prepared meals, and most of all a God who never fails to do good and love us extravagantly.

There are other things, so many other things, to be thankful for:

- the miracle of renewed life; I almost gave up on this poor little shamrock. At one time it was a full, beautiful plant, but one day it began to droop and lose its leaves. It got down to seven little leaves - a rather hopeless case - but I decided to give it one more chance.

- here it is today with more beautiful blooms that it has ever had before - a picture of hope and the belief that God makes all things new.


- I never can seem to do a gratitude post without including flowers. I love them!! It takes my breath away to look closely at the impossibly beautiful blooms.






-the miracles we see all around us, if we only have eyes to see. I nearly missed this little nest as I was taking my walk. It reminds me of the constancy of the Lord - spring always following winter, birds returning home and building nests to prepare for new life. How can we possibly fail to see the hand of a Divine Creator?



- my crown of thorns plant - especially poignant at this time of year. I cannot help but be reminded of what Jesus did for me.



- the thorns are cruel, but the tiny flowers are a reminder of the shed blood and the beauty of a Savior laying down His life that we might be saved.

"And they dressed Him up in purple, and after weaving a crown of thorns, they put it on Him..."
Mark 15:17

"We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us;..."
I John 3:16

"Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends."
John 15:13


This is the place where we gather to give thanks to One who loves us and gave His life for us.

Blessings,
Linda

Love

"Hereby know we love, because He laid down His life for us."
IJohn 3:16

"Love which outlives all sin and wrong,
Compassion which forgives to the uttermost,
And Justice whose clear eyes
through lapse and failures look to the intent,
And judge our frailty by the life we meant."
John G. Whittier

Words that bring such comfort to my heart, when in spite of the best of intentions, I fail yet again. Thank You, Father, for such love.

Blessings,
Linda

"Deep" Thoughts

My Mom looked at us from her unaccustomed position in a hospital bed and said, "I know God has a purpose in this. I just haven't figured out what it is yet."

Yes, He does have a purpose, one which we may never understand this side of heaven. He has promised that He will not let anything come to us on some purposeless whim. It all has meaning. We see with limited vision; He sees clearly. He sees with eyes of infinite love.

I was thinking about all of this this morning. Difficult circumstances tend to lead to "deep" thoughts. We so want to be able to figure it all out and make something sensible out of it all. I've struggled with that over the past few years and have come to the inevitable conclusion that there are some circumstances that I simply cannot make sense of.

I have finally (after much kicking and screaming) come to the place where I no longer try to fit suffering into a form I can understand. Sometimes it is simply that - suffering. Only the Father knows the purpose and only He can use it, as incredible as it seems, for our good. My part is faith and trust. That is more than enough for me to handle.

So I am trusting that whether or not all things work together the way I want them to - all will be well. I am choosing to believe that this life, with all its attendant sorrows and pain, is just a brief moment in time; to believe that when we step from this life into the next it will be for all eternity; to believe that there will be an end to suffering and pain and a beginning of unending joy beyond anything we can imagine.

For this present time, we have a Savior who loves and cares and provides all that we need. There is joy and peace in the midst of every circumstance when we simply rest in Him.

"Come to Me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am humble and gentle in heart and you shall find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My load is light."
Matt. 11: 28-30

"For I consider the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us."
Romans 8:18

"And He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there shall no longer be any death; there shall no longer be any mourning or crying or pain; the first things have passed away."
Rev. 21:4

Blessings,
Linda

A Little Update

It is late. Mom is settled in at the rehab center. Dad is here with us - relaxing in front of the tv, watching the news. It was a dialysis day for him today, always a bit wearing. I'm a bit concerned about him. The new fistula the doctor put in his arm is causing the arm to swell up again. It really is so discouraging for him. The doctor doesn't seem alarmed, but even his hand looks huge. It is exactly what happened the last time. sigh.....

I think Mom will do well with her rehab. She has such a strong spirit and positive outlook - not to mention great faith. They will begin her exercises tomorrow. She is anxious to be able to get out of bed!

I am so thankful for all of the prayers and sweet comments. I long to be able to really sit and visit each of you. I think that will have to wait for a little while. I also long to "write it out" - but that will have to wait a bit too.

Much love and blessings to you,
Linda

Life Interrupted

We got one of those phone calls no one wants to get early this morning. My Mom had fallen in the bathroom while doing the simplest of things - putting on her slacks. My frantic Dad was on the other end of the line.

Forty-five minutes later, we met them in the ER. She had a fractured hip, and would have to have surgery to repair it. She is a real trooper and came through it all very well. After a few days in the hospital, she will be transferred to a rehab facility (probably the same one my Dad was in in October). In the meantime, we will have to keep Dad on his scheduled dialysis treatments and see that he is doing well.

We would so appreciate your prayers. These are not the plans any of us had for the next few weeks. In fact, Mom was getting ready to come visit us later in the day. However, we know that nothing comes to us that does not first pass through the hands of a Father who loves us with a deep, deep love and has good plans for us. We will rest in that.

I don't know how often I will be able to get on the computer, but I'll update as I can.

Blessings,
Linda

At Just The Right Time

“When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us, sinners.” Romans 5:6

There are times, when we are reading God’s word, that a verse will just “pop” out at us. This verse did just that for me. It is a beautiful, loving verse about a Savior coming to rescue us, but it was this portion that pierced my heart – “…at just the right time…”

Jesus came at just the right time. Surely there were other times in the history of the nation of Israel when they thought it was the right time for Him to come. Imagine them during the time of their captivity, longing for the Messiah to come and set them free. Think of four hundred years of silence between the Old and New Testaments. How they must have longed for just a word from the Lord, but the heavens remained closed. They couldn’t know that the Father was working out His perfect plan.....

The rest of my devotional is at Laced With Grace today. I would love it if you would join me there.

Blessings,
Linda

22 Seneca Street

The street on whose corner
lived the little house
(that once seemed big)
trimmed in yellow,
surrounded by white wooden fence.

The street of my childhood.

Do the sounds still echo there?
- bicycle tires
speeding over your gravelly surface
- little girl footsteps
running and jumping rope
- dancing feet on the pavement
in dress-up clothes
- the quiet swooshing of sleds
when you were blanketed in snow.

Do the voices still fill the air?
- "Can Chris come out
and play?"
- "Shep! Come here!"
- "Just five more minutes Mom;
please?!"
- the laughter, secrets and
tears.

You run right through my heart.

Join us for this week's RAP: streetwise poetry

Blessings,
Linda

Multitude Monday

"LET EVERYTHING THAT BREATHES SING PRAISES TO THE LORD!"
Psalm 150:6

Spring comes, a promise fulfilled, and all of nature sings praise. We have only to step outside and with open heart see the gifts the Father has given us.

I am deeply grateful for:

- a dear little front porch - a place to sit and soak up the beauty of the day, to remember other days when childrens toys and pets feeding dishes filled the empty space


- a place to sit and stitch, the silence broken only by the perfect songs of little birds




- an unexpected visit from a little friend


- a beautiful gift from my husband, just because...


- this lovely piece of land that has been home for 28 years


- little wild flowers dancing in the wind


- these ancient oaks, standing sentinel in the front yard; once again they shed their leaves with the promise of new life not far behind. These trees were here long before I ever drew breath. They have put down deep roots in my heart - symbols of so much God has taught me.


- answered prayer; loved ones safely home from far away places

- birthdays for little granddaughters

- heart-to-heart talks

- a visit with a forever friend

- the evident hand of God on the lives of our grown children

- a church that stand firmly on the Word of God

- His grace in the difficult moments

- certain hope

Please visit Ann's quiet little corner to be part of the Gratitude Community - or just to read and be blessed.

Blessings,
Linda

Pruning

The weather was so perfect yesterday, it would have been impossible to remain indoors. We went for our walk, and when we got home I dug out the gardening gloves and pruning shears. I could hear all the little (and not so little) plants groaning when they caught sight of me, but I proceeded undaunted.

The Texas Sage needed a trim badly. She wasn't happy about it - but as I explained to her as I lovingly snipped away, it was for her own good. In just a few weeks she would be much healthier and stronger and producing those beautiful purple-pink flowers I love (and she loves to wear).

I think she looks a bit sulky, but she will just have to trust me on this one. It will all work together for her good.



The little flower garden was next. There was not the loud groaning and complaining from these children. There were so many lifeless limbs, there could be no doubt they had to come off.


I think I heard little sighs of gratitude when I refastened the little gate. All was clean and fresh - ready for new growth.


The whole time I was cutting and carting off dead and discarded branches I thought about the way the Father works in my own life. There are times I know that I desperately need Him to come and do a work in my life. There is only gratitude when the hard work is done and something new is beginning.

There are other times, however, when I think things are going along just fine, thank you very much, and He comes to lovingly prune away the things that are keeping me from becoming all He desires me to be. The process is often times painful as I cling to the familiar and question His ways. He promises me, in these times, that He is working all things together for my good. His love for me is deeper, wider, and higher than my mind can conceive. He asks only that I trust Him.

"Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it, that it may bear more fruit."
John 15:2

"Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and unfathomable His ways!"
Romans 11:33

Blessings,
Linda

Memorial Stones

"We will use these stones to build a memorial. In the future your children will ask you, 'What do these stones mean?' Then you can tell them, 'They remind us that the Jordan River stopped flowing when the Ark of the Lord's Covenant went across.' These stones will stand as a memorial among the people of Israel forever."
Joshua 4: 6-7

There are times, when I write what is on my heart, I feel I need to give a little "disclaimer." I worry that it may appear I think I have somehow "arrived." Nothing could be further from the truth. I believe I struggle more than most, and it is because of that insufficiency that I record the things the Lord so lovingly and graciously doing in my life. I don't want to forget.

I pick up the stones of remembrance and pile them onto the pages of this blog as a memorial. I look down the path and pray that as my children and grandchildren come along behind me they will see the stones and discover here what they mean...

When I pray and ask the Father to forgive me of my sins, I always ask Him to fill me with His Spirit. I ask in faith, but often there comes a little dart of doubt that pierces through the defenses straight into my heart. I hear about the experiences of others and wonder why I don't feel those same things. The little dart begins to spread its poison, and I wonder if somehow there is something wrong with me. Have I somehow gone wrong? Is there something amiss with my own faith?

A short time ago, I was reading some Christian literature, and there was that feeling in my spirit that all was not right. Without going into all the details, it turned out that it was indeed, something that was not Biblical. It was confirmed over and over again.

It was as though the Father was assuring me that all was well. He is so lovingly patient and gentle with me. I am such a slow learner. In my heart I know that His Spirit dwells within me, because I am His child. Those doubts may come, but I know the truth. However, He took the time to reassure this troublesome daughter.

There was such an overwhelming feeling of gratitude and joy. It seems a simple thing as I write it down, but it means so much to me. To know I am loved in such a way brings me to my knees.

There have been other things these past few days - answers to prayer and reassurances of His tender mercy and grace in my life. I am overwhelmed anew at the lovingkindness of the Father. When I am so consumed with self that I drift away from Him, He reaches out and draws me back with such love. I haven't words to praise Him adequately. He is everything to me.

"And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth whom the world cannot receive, because it does not behold Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you."
John 14: 16-17

Blessings,
Linda

Abandoned House

I see it every time we drive into town, speeding by at sixty miles an hour, sitting forlornly atop a little hill. It is slowly going the way of all things whose life has been extinguished.

I imagine what it looked like when life filled its empty rooms, when light illuminated the darkened, broken windows, when loving hands kept it neat and clean.

Once its walls knew the sound of joys and sorrows, now they crumble in the silence. Once, perhaps, children played in the yard, now it is overgrown with weeds. Once it provided comfort and shelter, now its door stands open to the elements and the roof sags. Life has gone from the little house, and it is slowly dying.

I feel such a sadness when I see it. I cannot help but make the comparison to my own life. If I didn't have the life of Jesus dwelling within me, I would soon be very much like that little abandoned house - no life, no light, no warmth, none of the things that make life rich. I would be an empty shell, slowly falling apart. He brings light and life. He makes a house a home; He makes life rich and full. He does it for every life that opens the door to Him.

Blessings,
Linda

A Little Bloggy Break

I think I need to take a little break. Just a little time to "be."

I'll be back in just a little bit.

Blessings,
Linda